Through my room of wooden carved windows the sun came, gently waking me and decorating the floor with patterns like lace. The streets of Ujjayini were heard softly through the window, their murmur mixing with the fragrance of the new jasmine that was from the gardens nearby. My name is Kalavati, and as a ganika or a courtesan in this colourful city, my existence is an abundant, diversified mosaic which consists of art, music, and the complicated political game.
I have never seen a new day that is like a colourful painting, full of life and happiness, of which I wholeheartedly accept my role in society. My talents were not only in beauty but also in the depth of the conversations that I could impress and, in my dance, and music performance, which was irresistible. The attraction of my charisma was the reason the influential patrons were at my side, each of them wanting the company of the one who could by her charm and cleverness solve the puzzles of their world. At night, a sitar was playing a soft tune as I was getting ready to captivate my audience with my performances, where the sacred and the seductive were sensually intertwined.
My day is initiated with a leisurely bath during which the hot, scented water that is like a hug from the universe, soothes me. The ambience was permeated with a fragrance of jasmine and sandalwood, which was in tune with the relaxed mood that was created while I was lazily taking my time, thus allowing the issues of the previous day to be removed from my mind. Afterwards, I pampered myself with a massage of warm aromatic oils and each movement was a step towards surprising my senses and refreshing my soul.
After completing this ritual, my handmaidens are still around me, and their experienced hands are doing the work of putting on comfortable and beautiful clothes, which are suitable for my status and profession, in a skilful way. I wore a very beautifully designed sari; the fabric was like silk and the bright colours of it were shining as if they were dancing. The fine embroidery is lined with very intricate patterns, and it is obvious to me that the master work has been done.
In finishing my make-over, my servants provide me with the golden ornaments—pretty earrings that gleam like the sun, a necklace that lies comfortably next to my shoulder, and the bangles that give a quiet sound when I move. Apart from each one making me more attractive, they are also the symbols of tradition and culture, thus, it was as if I were a very self-confident queen while I was preparing to go outside.
After completing my invigorating morning routine that positively influences my mood, I indulge in some time honing my artistic skills. The veena, vocals, and dance are the three arts that I love, hence, I am always on the lookout for chances to practice these. I get the opportunity of learning new songs and advanced techniques from my revered local musician whose name is familiar to the community under whose guidance I have the privilege. Each session is a chance to enhance my skills; my guru not only gives me his skills but also shares with me his experiences that are like a light to my art comprehension. I am very determined to achieve excellence in my art, as I realize that if I am only personally happy with these parts of arts, then it will be the basis of my dreams of going to the cultural sphere for success and recognition.
I was strongly entangled in a network of scholars and artists who enthusiastically argued and exchanged their views on many topics such as philosophy, literature, and politics. The education I have received is a combination of various kinds of knowledge, such as the Sanskrit language, literature and the richness of music. This wide learning course not only gave me the opportunity to improve my artistic skills but also provided me with a very deep understanding of cultural discourse. Due to that I have become very famous and have gained the respect of scholars, poets and the literati, which, in turn, has enabled me to establish enduring relationships and be involved in intellectual discussions which go beyond the limitations of my position in society. In my realm, I am constantly trying to find my way through the difficult situations created by people who admire me and the ones who hate me, yet I always find and use my talents to create an identity that defies the traditional view of a woman and the concept of success.
During the day, my customers vary widely and are of a very high social status. They include wealthy merchants, respected nobles, and sometimes even members of the royal family. These people do not merely want to be with me but also to find a way to have important and thoughtfully stimulating conversations with me. My knowledge covers a lot of subjects. Some of these are complex political theories, well-known literature, and basic philosophy.
Clients of mine have been emphatic about my capability to give them insightful analysis and diversified viewpoints. They are frequently the ones who come to me for help with difficult topics of state, governance, and ethical issues. The dynamic interaction that took place between them also deepened their understanding as well as created a collaborative environment in which new ideas can be generated and developed.
Being a Ganika, I have definitely a distinctive and nuanced position in the society. It is true that the society might not have seen me as a woman of the kind of "respectable" character but the local status of my artistic talents and intellectual capabilities was recognized. I am one of the few courtesans who have been given the privilege of receiving an elite education- the kind of education that is normally available only to the members of the royal family and the highest ranks of society.
My singing and dancing for the nobility make me very aware of the special status I have in society. Whereas the married women have limited freedom, I have the opportunity to realize my dreams and make money through art without any restrictions. My life is an endless feast of music, dance, and poetry that also gives me financial independence and thus I can be of help to the society in more ways than one.
One of my great sources of joy is carrying out public works, erecting temples, and giving to charity. My presence at social gatherings and literary conferences is sought after, and I pay taxes, contributing to the royal revenue.
Despite the fact that my position seems to be of privilege, I still have to face quite a few challenges and fears that are always with me. Nevertheless, being a victim of exploitation on the part of those in power is also something of which I am conscious. Kings, nobles, and ordinary men seek to benefit from my services, often without regard for my well-being. As a courtesan, I am like a puppet that my clients' unexpected wishes and the society's strict rules of the profession can pull. Hence, I am at constantly dominant necessity to tidy up my status and harmony, and to make the utmost possible peace, and not to be devoid of my profession's demands and my private life. The stakes are very high, and every communication is like a game, in which I try to keep my freedom, but at the same time, I have to satisfy the needs of the customers, who are often volatile and new to me.
However, even from the bereavement abyss of the ocean, I have to the life rays still feel. So colourful the natural world is, that I hardly can tell where the sunset ends and the sky begins, or the small noise of the leaves that was brought by the wind did not catch me. The joy I get from learning new things is of such a nature that even the one new fact I know is not only deepening my knowledge of the world but also raising my thirst for learning. Moreover, I find great joy in making art, which, apart from being my new way of expressing feelings, is also a constant source of comfort and happiness for other people. The fact that I can both amuse and educate my customers at the same time and be sure that my presence and understanding are really needed in their lives give me so much happiness and pride.
I now see that my profession has changed so much that it is no longer concerned only with physical beauty or sensual pleasure. Frankly, happiness comes from a mixture of mental stimulation, creative work, and emotional depth. I am definitely not just a body decorated with charm but a person having a vibrant mind, a sympathetic heart, and a soulful spirit.
